did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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