cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
