So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
