Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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