I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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