Girls should come with a carfax report
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize