y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
