Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
