In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
