how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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