no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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