Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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