i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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