i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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