I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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