It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
