remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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