I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize