If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Randomize
