We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize