I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Be still, my beating vagina.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
