if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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