I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
