JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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