You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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