ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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