It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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