You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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