went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
