It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Randomize
