if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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