Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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