Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
