I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize