make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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