If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
