That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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