he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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