I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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