i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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