you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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