Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
