So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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