my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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