The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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