I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
