you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
