Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
