3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
