I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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