I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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