So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
