Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
