hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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