what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
