I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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