Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
