No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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