Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
