Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
