every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
