A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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