Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
