you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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