u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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