I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
