some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize