This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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