Sry I called you an 8
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
