i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
